Do I deserve??
what a horrible feeling to feel that you are alone in this world !
It is horrible even if you wanted the people to avoid you away !
To feel you are alone is as harm as death!!
It is so tough really, maybe people don't worth much to know them, but they are still valuable !!
To some extent being alone is good, but it isn't so good in fact .
Sometime you feel you want to have some private time, to know how it feels enjoying the term of " privacy ", in many cases this feeling turns to the desire of having a complete private life, but when it comes to reality this is too hard, and to selfish as well !
waking up on the pulses of my everlasting mental question : Do I deserve ??
Do I deserve enjoying the beauty of life ??
Do I deserve having a partner , forming a family one day, falling in love or being loved ??
Do I deserve others to respect me ??
Do I deserve peace to take its part in my life ??
Do I deserve the world being changed for better situation because of me one day ??
Do I deserve being trusted by people ??
Do I even deserve my written words on this blog being read by others ??
Once this "Do I deserve" question pops up in my mind, the whole world turns into hell !!
I don't know why I'm doing this to myself .. why I'm killing every beautiful feeling inside of me .. why I'm working too hard to punish myself for each and every thing I did or the others did ..
What I'm gonna get from this bitter punishment ???!!!!!!!!
I know it is essential for me to keep on this way I'm behaving which is pleasing others .. but here is a turning point in which the "Do I deserve" question turns to be "Do others deserve this wonderful kind of treatment" ??
well, not all of them of course but most of them really don't !!
That's why I prefer living alone but not being hurt by others actions, words, or even whisper
It is horrible even if you wanted the people to avoid you away !
To feel you are alone is as harm as death!!
It is so tough really, maybe people don't worth much to know them, but they are still valuable !!
To some extent being alone is good, but it isn't so good in fact .
Sometime you feel you want to have some private time, to know how it feels enjoying the term of " privacy ", in many cases this feeling turns to the desire of having a complete private life, but when it comes to reality this is too hard, and to selfish as well !
waking up on the pulses of my everlasting mental question : Do I deserve ??
Do I deserve enjoying the beauty of life ??
Do I deserve having a partner , forming a family one day, falling in love or being loved ??
Do I deserve others to respect me ??
Do I deserve peace to take its part in my life ??
Do I deserve the world being changed for better situation because of me one day ??
Do I deserve being trusted by people ??
Do I even deserve my written words on this blog being read by others ??
Once this "Do I deserve" question pops up in my mind, the whole world turns into hell !!
I don't know why I'm doing this to myself .. why I'm killing every beautiful feeling inside of me .. why I'm working too hard to punish myself for each and every thing I did or the others did ..
What I'm gonna get from this bitter punishment ???!!!!!!!!
I know it is essential for me to keep on this way I'm behaving which is pleasing others .. but here is a turning point in which the "Do I deserve" question turns to be "Do others deserve this wonderful kind of treatment" ??
well, not all of them of course but most of them really don't !!
That's why I prefer living alone but not being hurt by others actions, words, or even whisper
To keep your mind all the time thinking and re-thinking about the same questions, replying the same answers, then finding no differences is the same as trying to plant roses in Siberia and harvesting nothing !!
The be hated " do I deserve " question being asked by me is causing a series of sub questions coming from its answer whether it was yes I do or no I don't .. but in this case this series of sub questions is beginning by the same question word WHY..
why do I deserve ??
or
why don't I deserve ??
1 comment:
what's wrong with U??
u know U r someone gr8...
someone special...
someone that has to, must & will MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
Y is all this in U?
Y let this all out now?
Y think of all this now?
Y do this to urslef now?????
i don't know what to say, but...
B STRONG WHEN U FEEL THE WEEKNESS OF THOSE AROUND U!
B KIND TO URSELF WHEN U IT'S IN PAIN!
B FIRM WITH URSELF WHEN IT'S FOOLING AROUN!
B GR8... CUZ U R... CUZ U DESERVE TO B SO!
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